Happiness
by girlgonemadd
Summary: Happiness can feel like heaven. Slash


Happiness Series  
Chapter 1: Happiness  
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay (slash)  
Disclaimers: Not mine (WHAAAAAA)  
Spoilers: None Sequel/Series: Start of the Happiness Series.  
Feedback: Love it.  
Summary: Happiness can feel like heaven.

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The velvet softness that surrounded his cock was tight and hot, a combination that had him desperately babbling for this moment to last forever. As he pumped in and out of that tight ass, a part of his brain watched in fascination as his large hands covered those slim, pale hips. Perfect, beautiful, miraculous, astounding, amazing, wondrous. Those words couldn't compare to what lay before him now. It was everything he'd ever hoped for, more than he could have imagined or dreamed.

An image of marking that perfect skin made him lean over and sink his teeth into the lean muscles of the shoulder. The moan that filled the air was followed with a flexing of pressure on his cock and Rodney screamed out as he came inside that lithe body that fit his so perfectly. The sensations struck with an extremity that sent him into a post orgasmic heaven. His last thoughts before oblivion swept him away was that he couldn't recall a time he'd been so happy. John was here and John loved him.

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Consciousness brought with it that same feeling, unabridged happiness and Rodney reached out for the warm body sleeping next to him.

Fingers swept cool sheets and he sat up in disbelief to find himself alone in his room. No scattered clothing, no other-worldly body naked or otherwise, no presence of any kind, save his own, greeted him.

Cold, brutal reality settled in as he realized it had been nothing more than a dream.

John wasn't here.

John didn't love him.

Curling up into a ball, Rodney told himself it was allergies that made his eyes water, his chest constrict, and his heart break.

Chapter 2:Reconnaissance  
Summary: John is looking for answers

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Their relationship had become strained the last few weeks and despite cornering Rodney on several occasions, John still had no idea what was wrong. It was amazing the double talk that could come out of that mouth despite some tried and true interrogation techniques. The normal snarking had turned to uncomfortable silence or bitter arguing. Any middle ground had evaporated long before John realized how serious the problem had become and now he was determined to find the cause.

Seven days of following the scientist around had given John a few insights into Rodney's life. Rodney worked too hard, rarely slept, was dangerously addicted to coffee, and was a saint for not murdering Kavanaugh outright or in any ingeniously nefarious plot. But it brought him no closer to discovering what was going on with his scientist.

On the ninth day, John watched as Zelenka found Rodney asleep in the lab, over his laptop. Soft swears in Czech filled the room as Zelenka took out a blanket and covered the softly snoring man. Concern etched his face as he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This must stop, my friend. You're heart cannot take much more breaking. Confess your feelings or let it go." With a heavy sigh, Zelenka turned off all the equipment and lights, then left the room.

John was stunned by this revelation. Rodney was in love.

Watching the scientist sleep, John decided on a course of action. First he would get stinking drunk and then he would help his friend win his heart's desire. No matter how much his own heart broke in the process.

Chapter 3: Singing  
Summary: Drunkenness, bad singing, and fish.

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"What the hell is going on?" Weir asked the moment Beckett walked into her office. "I been getting conflicting reports stating that Major Sheppard was either eaten by a very large sea creature or passed on enough Athosian moonshine to make said sea creature believe Atlantis is it's long lost mate!"

The Scottish doctor sighed wearily. "It's both, unfortunately, Dr. Weir." He rushed on at her panicked look. "Major Sheppard's resting in the infirmary, mind you now. But it would appear that he took a rather large amount of Athosian moonshine to the northeast pier to drink himself into a stupor. That's when Bad Fred showed up."

"Bad Fred?"

"Aye, that's what the Major named the wie beastie. When it showed up, he offered some to the creature. When Sgt. Bates found them, the Major was traveling round the city in the creature's mouth until it managed to beach itself. They had a time extracting the Major who decided at that moment to partake in a game of Hide and Seek in the vast mouth of the monster. Fortunately Sgt. Bates and his men got the Major out and brought him to the infirmary. Dr. Iwahami is seeing to the beastie. They don't believe the alcohol is poisonous to the fish but they've decided to keep it on hand until it's able to swim a bit more coherently in fear of the dimwitted beast accidentally ramming itself into the city and causing damage." Beckett couldn't blame Weir the look of stunned disbelief on her face, he was still having a hard time with it himself.

Pulling herself together, Weir looked down at her papers. "Did Major Sheppard give any indication why he'd do something like this?"

Again the doctor sighed. "From all the 1970's, American, love songs he was singing, I'd guess he has a broken heart."

Weir winced. "That bad?"

It was a fate Beckett wished on no one. "His singing could wake the dead, it's so horrible."

Chapter 4: Sleeping  
Summary: John sleeps off his hangover.

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Sitting next to the bed, Rodney watched each breath John took and felt a desperate need to shed a tear for every single one. A part of him wanted to rant, scream, and rage at the Major for being so incredibly stupid to risk his life. The rumors of the events were circling throughout the city like breeding bunnies and the last thing Rodney wanted was to listen to every person he ran into repeat the story over and over again.

Rodney didn't need to hear anyone else tell him, his own thoughts kept reiterating the scenario for him in excruciating detail.

Damn that man, what the hell was he thinking? The moment the Major woke up, Rodney would make certain his ears rang for a month, hangover or no hangover.

Until then, Rodney sat quietly next to the bed and let each breath calm his fears, content for the moment that John was alive.

Chapter 5:Advice  
Summary: Giving advice is never easy.

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"What the hell was that all about?" John bellowed, holding his left eye. It was already starting to swell and would no doubt turn into a beautiful shiner. With his one good eye, he watched his two remaining team members as they carefully exchanged meaningful looks that seemed to communicate a wealth of knowledge without muttering a sound. Teyla nodded to Aiden and left, taking the path created in the aftermath of one furious Rodney McKay.

"Lt. Ford?" John bit out coldly.

"Sir, you have been badgering Dr. McKay on this topic for awhile. He doesn't want assistance with his love life." The young man tried to explain.

"He could have said something."

"Dr. McKay did say something on any number of occasions, sir. You just chose to believe you knew better than he did about what he should do."

The throbbing eye was starting to give way to a headache. In his desire to help Rodney and blot out his own pain, John realized he'd lost all perspective on the matter. "I just wanted to help."

"He doesn't need advice sir, he just needs you to be his friend."

For a moment John glared at the young man, realizing Aiden had been spending too much time around Teyla.

Carefully Aiden moved John's hand and a look of astonishment crossed his face at what he found. "Wow, I didn't realize Dr. McKay could throw a punch like that!"

"Perhaps next time we have sparring training, I'll pair you two together." John suggested then got to his feet. "Come on, let's catch up to them. The sooner I apologize, the less likely Rodney will be to give me a second shiner."

They headed out after the rest of the team, Aiden taking point and muttering to himself as he shook his head. "Old people are so dense."

"I don't see any old people out here, Lt. Ford."

But when Aiden turned back, it was to flash him a bright, mischievous smile. "None at all sir."

Chapter 6: Apologies  
Summary: Apologies are made

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"I'm sorry." It was spoken softly into the darkness of the transport that had stopped when power had been lost to that section of the city.

"Yes! Yes! You've only said it 52 times already! Once was enough, now stop!" Rodney couldn't stand to hear it again, though he hadn't intended to snap at John quiet so harshly.

"It hasn't been 52 times." It was a protest, though not as strong as it might have been before all this oddness between them started.

"Are you doubting my ability to count now?"

The reply was uttered softly, almost sadly. "No."

That only served to piss Rodney off further. "Damnit, Major! What's wrong with you?" The last several weeks had been bizarre to say the least and Rodney simply couldn't comprehend what was going on inside John's head.

When John sighed, he sounded drained. "I'm tired of fighting."

Something unpleasant fluttered in Rodney's stomach as he paused for a moment. "We always argue."

"No, lately we've been fighting.." John correctly him, his tone still soft.

"That's not true." They always argued, gripped and snarked at each other.

"Yes it is."

"Fine! Let's talk this out, it's not like we have anything better to do at the moment." Rodney waved one hand around in the pitch black transport, wanting to know what was going on with his best friend.

"Funny, you'd think someone would have noticed we were missing by now."

"Don't try and change the subject." It bothered Rodney that John's tone was still without any animation.

"Don't you think it's odd? Two high ranking personnel in the city are missing for several hours - "

"Three. Three hours."

" - several hours and no one has come looking. That might warrant a full investigation of city security."

"That would endear Bates to you for life and don't think you're changing the topic." It was a warning. Rodney wasn't going to let this opportunity get away this time. John was good at disappearing when there were questions he didn't want answered and right now, that would be difficult to accomplish.

"You're still mad at me." The confession, like the rest of John's conversation, was without any of it's normal irritation, innocence or snark that often colored their conversations.

"You tried to get yourself killed!" Rodney protested vehemently.

"Oh. That. Bad Fred really isn't that bad once you get to know him."

"Yes that, though I'm still mad about all the advice to the love lorn as well! That flounder with an overactive thyroid problem is a menace to this city!" Rodney almost shuddered, thinking of the nightmares he'd woken from involving Atlantian sea life.

"He's just lonely."

That stopped Rodney cold, hearing the loneliness etched in John's own words and he was grateful for the darkness.

"He doesn't have to be." Rodney's eyes grew large as he realized he'd spoken that out loud, fearing John's reaction.

What he hadn't expected was for a warm hand to entwine with his own, squeeze and not quite let go.

"Thanks."

Chapter7: Searching  
Summary: Atlantian fish do it like mammals.

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"How did you get Elizabeth to approve this mission?"

"Logic. Given that this - fish - has become the unofficial mascot of Atlantis, it would adversely affect moral if it's disappearance wasn't investigated."

"You dog! You miss Bad Fred, don't you?"

"I prefer cats, thank you."

"You didn't answer the question."

"You've managed to corrupt half my staff into pampering that goldfish on steroids. Their integrity has already taken a nose dive. Atlantis cannot afford sloppy work."

"If you don't miss him, why not send someone else on this mission?"

"There's a fundamental flaw in that question."

"And what is that?"

"None of my staff has the same experience as I do keeping you out of trouble."

"You worry about me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Oh."

"John. Fine! Okay! I worry about you! You're too valuable to Atlantis to loose. There's no one in the city better at turning on Ancient devices and it may come as a shock but I consider you a friend! Which, I might add, I don't have many of, so I'd rather not lose the few I have!"

"You worry about me!"

(Eye roll)

"You like me because I turn things on?"

"You - you're hand is on my leg."

"Is that a problem?"

"No!"

"Did you make that sound?"

"Huh?"

"Sensors are picking up two large life forms ahead."

"Bad Fred?"

"Possibly."

"There! There he is! Look, he's fighting with that other fish!"

...>

...>

"I don't think they're fighting."

"Um, no. No. Not fighting. Is it hot in here? Are the environmental systems malfunctioning?"

"Guess that mystery is solved. Time to head back."

"Already?"

"Dr. McKay, is there another mystery you'd like to explore?"

"Yes, Major Sheppard, it so happens there is."

(Moan)

Happiness 8: Interruptions Kavanagh considers a career change or two.

"You are unforgiving bastard, Rodney." Radek offered a knowing smile as they watched the scene on the laptop. A video linkup showed Dr. Kavanagh working waist deep in the sewage area. The sound was off but it was apparent the man was cursing.

Waves of fury radiated off of the Canadian. "He almost sank the city because he felt himself above established safety protocols! Tell me why I should be forgiving?" He and John had barely gotten the windows on the Jumper to fog up when Atlantis had called with a looming crisis that required their immediate return. Now, twelve hours later, Rodney was still half hard, very horny, and extremely pissed off.

Sometimes, Radek thought, it was too tempting to forgo teasing Rodney. "Ignoring safety protocol is stupid mistake even for Kavanagh. Perhaps it is cry for help?"

"Only if it's his IQ screaming as it drops by several dozen points every time he opens his mouth." Snapped Rodney.

"Perhaps cry for attention would be better analogy." Large eyes blinked innocently from behind the wire-rimmed glasses.

"If he wanted attention, he should have gone to see Heightmeyer instead of trying to sink the city to the bottom of the ocean!" Looking away from the laptop monitor, Rodney frowned. "Just who's attention is he after?"

The Czech shook his head, not at all surprised that Rodney hadn't seen what was going on right in front of him. "Perhaps you do not know of Kavanagh's interest in training for possible placement on off-world team?" From the startled reaction, Radek smugly acknowledged he'd been right. "Yes. Very interested in learning weapons, hand to hand combat, mission protocols…."

Rodney's eyes grew wide as his thoughts flew off in several directions, none of them ending in happy conclusions. "Are you saying - "

" - Kavanagh has crush on Major Sheppard. You do realize, you were not to be stuck together in lift last week when power went out, yes? It was to be Major Sheppard and Kavanagh but Kavanagh was unexpectedly delayed." Radek gazed through his glasses innocently at Rodney. If Rodney weren't to ask what had delayed the pony-tailed scientist, who was he to tell? Seeing that Rodney was speechless, the Czech decided to drop the last bomb. "He asked Dr. Weir to be assigned mission to find large fish, stating sudden interest in Atlantian sea life."

The shock had given way to anger. "Sea life. Perfect. I'll give him an opportunity to study the local sea life." Activating his radio, Rodney glared at the figure on the laptop. "Kavanagh, as soon as you're done there, I have another assignment for you."

Oh yes, Radek thought, there was nothing better than Rodney-baiting.

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"Don't be so melodramatic, Kavanagh." John nearly rolled his eyes, half reclining in his chair.

The long-haired scientist grew livid. "That freak of nature tried to kill me!"

"We're in another galaxy, how could you possibly know if he's a freak of nature or not?" John asked innocently, giving his little boy look.

"That's beside the point! That 'thing' is dangerous! Dr. Weir, I demand something be done immediately!"

Elizabeth had watched the exchange with some amount of amusement. All the previous reports indicated the huge fish was curious but extremely gentle with the scientists who studied it. "Major?"

Consideration crossed that handsome face. "Well, Bad Fred has been known to eat any nasty thing he comes across."

"I resent that implica - "

"But in this case, I think he was just playing." Seeing the incredulous look on the scientist's face, John shrugged. "He did spit you out. Guess that proves he's got some taste after all."

"You did state an interest in the local sea life, Dr. Kavanagh. Perhaps you would like to study the behavioral habits of - "

"NO!" Kavanagh got to his feet quickly, turning an odd color green. "No. My current workload is prohibitive - "

"You gave a very passionate speech not long ago about your desire to expand your field of study. I'm sure the marine biologists would love to use you in their work in researching - "

"No! I've changed my mind! I have work to do!" Kavanagh practically bolted from the room, leaving the two alone.

John kept a straight face as he called after the retreating back. "Does that mean you're dropping the complaint?" He shrugged when there was no response, getting to his feet.

"Would you care to join me for dinner in the cafeteria?" Elizabeth asked, hoping to get out of him exactly what had happened.

"Thanks but I've got plans."

She watched him for a moment, carefully. "Should I be concerned?"

"No."

"You look like the cat who ate the canary."

John's smile morphed into that lazy, charming smile he occasionally let out. "Not yet, Elizabeth. Not yet."

Chapter9: Home  
Summary:Coming Home.

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"It's okay." John's smile was warm and encouraging as he beckoned Rodney closer to the edge. "Think of him as an enthusiastic puppy."

"I prefer cats." Rodney snapped, allowing himself to be lead towards the water, despite his body tensing at the memories of a rain-soaked balcony. One glance at the unguarded expression on John's face banished those memories and he relaxed as his fingers brushed over the surface of the slightly chilled water. "I don't see him."

Something warm and soft gently skimmed across his fingertips and Rodney watched in awe as the huge creature carefully surfaced. One eye gazed up at them as it puffed out a balmy mist of air and water. The sheer size of the creature was frighteningly awe inspiring and it's slow, gentle movements quelled any anxiety that Rodney might have felt.

"His skin has the same consistency of a dolphin. Has the marine biologist classified him as a mammal?"

The reverent tone in Rodney's voice please John more than he was willing to admit. "Actually, they're a bit stumped. Bad Fred has characteristics both of mammals and fish." He watched for a few moments as Rodney gently petted the overgrown creature, amazed and delighted at the look of boyish wonder on the scientist's face. John smiled when scratches behind a small fin produced a series of contented moans and clicks from the fish. "He likes you."

Rodney turned to him, grinning like a kid. It was a look John found breathtaking as it was something he'd rarely seen. "You think so?"

Leaning forward, John gazed into eyes so blue they reminded him of home. "I know so." He breathed gently on that crooked mouth before taking it with his own.

-----------------

Consciousness brought with it that feeling of unabridged happiness and Rodney reached out for the warm body sleeping next to him. Fingers swept cool sheets and he sat up in disbelief to find himself alone in his room.

No. Not again.

Heart pounding in his ears, Rodney recalled the dream of fish and jumpers and terribly sweet and passionate lovemaking. Had it all been a dream? Was his mind cruel enough to play this trick on him a second time?

Harsh breathing filled the quiet room and he looked around, startled at the remnants of the dinner from last night on the small table, of the clothes scattered about the room in a haste for flesh to touch flesh. Shaking fingers picked up a black t-shirt and Rodney took a deep breath of the scent that screamed John.

It was only then the sound of a shower caught his attention and Rodney realized John was in the bathroom. Dropping the shirt, he headed in, pulled back the curtain and pinched the water warmed skin.

"Ouch! What was that for?" John turned around, annoyance and confusion vying for dominance.

Stepping in, Rodney pulled the curtain closed and wrapped his arms around the lithe body from his dreams, burying his face in the water slicked neck to hide the fear and relief that rushed through him.

"I thought I was dreaming again."

"If you thought you were dreaming, why pinch me?" John asked, confused as he wrapped his arms around his trembling lover. "You - " his throat went suddenly dry at the implications of Rodney's words, "you dreamt about us - ?" The only response was another series of tremors and John ran his hands over as much of that wonderful skin as possible. Suddenly he was pushed back against the wall, Rodney's fingers bruising his skin as teeth sank into the muscle of his shoulder.

"Mine!" Rodney growled, daring John to contradict the statement, eyes blazing with lust, desire and something else that made John's stomach flutter. It was something that hadn't been said last night during their lovemaking, something John had held back saying on more than one occasion. Perhaps that had been a mistake.

John looked into that face and let all his defenses down, he let Rodney see what he was feeling. "I love you too, Rodney."

It felt like coming home.

…end.


End file.
